A Glimpse of Heaven
by Silraen
Summary: It has been years after Aragorn's passing, and his Queen is plauged by the haunts of her dreams and the unbearable grief that consumes her heart. And yet...in one night...she catches a glimpse of heaven. Written by Silraen and Navana {AA}


A Glimpse of Heaven

_Written by Silraen and Navana_

Outside the safe, proudly strong marble walls of the White City, raging thunder boomed in the velvet-blackness above. Bright flashes of white lightening streaked violently across the heavens, and hail, bitter and hard, pounded relentlessly to the earth. Arwen Undomiel, Queen of Gondor and late wife to her beloved Aragorn whom had passed on from this world years before, lay asleep in the bed she had once shared with him. She lay, tossing and turning, moaning into the shadows of the night. Her words were incomprehensible, save only the name that she repeated. "Estel...Estel..."

Arwen's dreams were dark...and she was alone...so very alone. She was calling for him...she was calling for him to come to her. Dark shadows and cold mists surrounded her, whipping through her very heart...her very soul. Her tormented thoughts were whirling with doubt, and the utmost grief - a grief that she had never been able to conquer. The shadow loomed over her heart, and she screamed one last time before she fell to her knees in anguish.

Through the sea of endless emptiness of the heart, the Queen of Gondor could see no end, spare hers. _Please, do not despair, for our next meeting will not be for many long, moments, and the thoughts I want to remember of you are of your radiant smile that will guide me back to you..._ his words drifted through her mind, yet, they somehow seemed closer... Somehow near. _Once, as my heart remembers, all the stars were fallen embers, once, when night seemed forever, I was with you..._ So familiar the song was that hummed softly through the darkness, yet sung not the way she remembered. It had been her gift to him, his final memories had been of her blissful song. Yet, it gripped at her heart as she trembled alone in shadow, her face cupped in her unsteady hands. _Once, as the night was leaving, into us our dreams were weaving. Once, all dreams were worth keeping, Arwen, for I was with you..._ Even as the echoes of the mighty thunder died to the sound of the song. Where once there was harsh nothingness there came a radiant glow of starlight as cool gentle winds spun through the dream.

No longer was she in a cloud of only darkness...of only depthless shadow. No longer did the harsh winds rip through her. Though she perceived the light through the cracks of her slender fingers...though she was aware of soothing winds which were now caressing her skin and hair, she could not look up, for fear that if she did, she would never wish to reawaken from this dream...to leave this place that had so suddenly changed from nothingness to a place where she wished to be. She could not fade from her world...not yet...she had promised him she would not until she knew her time had come...and now was not her time...

Then, as soothing as the gentle caress of the softest breeze, she felt a hand slip over hers, brushing her cheek. "Arwen..." This had to be a dream, yet if it was, she could sleep forever here if it was indeed whom she believed it was.

She began to tremble. Was it indeed him? With her hands shaking, she took them from her face and found herself gazing into crystalline eyes that glistened as brightly as the starlight surrounding them. Her breath caught in her throat and her hands clutched at his, her eyes blurring suddenly with tears.

Before her, Aragorn son of Arathorn, King of Gondor, and the one love of her heart, sat, all notions of age gone. The gray of his beard that she remembered and the white in his hair had gone away back into the wonder of his deep brunette locks and a stubble beard. This was how he always saw himself, and this was how she knew he longed to stay. Yet, where one would have expected to see dingy, weatherworn clothes, one would have instead found the garb of the great Kings that he had taken up with his rule. Tenderly, he hushed her as he drew in with strong, loving arms. "Do not cry, _vanimelda."_

Arwen found herself laughing softly even as she wept. Joy filled her heart as if her heart had never been filled before. Blissful love flooded her soul as she wrapped her arms so fiercely around him. He was not a vision. Not a spirit. He was truly here...with her...in her arms. She breathed in his scent that had forever been imprinted in her memory, even after his passing. Her fingers buried themselves in his soft locks, which were no longer frosted with age. Her lips trailed from his chest to his neck...to his cheeks, which were no longer marked by scars of brutality and war. "You are here...you are here...you are here..." she repeated softly, every part of her overflowing with joy even as her tears fell from her eyes.

"I have never been gone," he breathed into her dark raven tresses. His right hand slipped from her and moved to rest upon her heart. "Never."

She tilted her head back only slightly to gaze into his eyes. Her hands slipped from his hair to hold his face. Her fingers caressed him as she softly breathed his name. Then, she began to tremble once more, her thumbs sliding to his lips in a gesture of love both knew so well.

Broadly he smiled. So unlike him, it seemed, yet so fitting at the same time. "O! Undomiel, how I have missed your embrace, though," his hand lifted from her heart and let his fingers run through her long silken hair, allowing himself to fall into her. "So long have I watched you from afar and not held you in my arms," he looked to her, "far too long." There was a radiance about him unlike all the memories she had of him. It glistened in his eyes, in his smile, and even flowed through the air about them. He was at peace, at last.

And yet, though she had finally found content completeness now that he was finally with her, she, unlike him, was not at peace. Though she felt joy, that joy did not burn as brightly as it could have, for she knew that she had only strayed into a dream...and that she would have to reawaken from it. And she did not wish to. _So long have I watched you from afar and not held you in my arms...far too long._ Though Aragorn did not know how long it had been for her...how very long.

"How do you fare, _meleth nin?"_ with eyes that shone brightly with ethereal starlight, he gazed into her eyes, searching her heart.

"Do you not know?" she asked softly, her hands slipping from his back to his arms as she bowed her head suddenly, unwilling to let him see the utter grief that had suddenly welled in her depthless pools. The waves of her hair fell about her; the one, white lock glittering in the starlight.

"Not know what, Arwen?" confusion was in his voice.

"I have not been well, _meleth nin,"_ she whispered.

As swiftly as the words left her lips, an expression of worry painted his face. "What is it?"

She raised her head to look into his eyes. It was clearly written there that he did not know. She drew in a deep breath. "For too long have you been gone from my side, Estel," she said softly. "For too long have I lived without you beside me...and always, in the darkness of the night, I have wished to simply end this pain in which I feel. This wrenching pain that never ceases to tear my heart asunder." Her voice was shuddering even as she tried to steady it.

"Undomiel..." It was clear that this news pained him greatly. When he had passed, he had wished nothing more than her contentment, but at the same time to properly continue the line of Kings. The though that his passing indeed had pained her, he knew, yet, he knew not how greatly. Being apart from her when he had been alive had been like living in unending darkness, yet there was always a light, a northern star to follow, for she waited at the end for him.

"This pain...o, beloved...this pain is truly unbearable. Always unbearable. Especially in the nights, when I am alone...so very alone...without your embrace surrounding me...without your heart beating so close to my own. Every night is as long as a life age of this earth, it seems. No longer do I dream peacefully...not even when I had moved to your side... And always in my dreams, I am in shadow...calling for you..." Her hands tightened upon his arms as she looked to him with such sorrow in her gaze. 

_"Vanimelda,"_ he shook his head, "you must not trouble yourself so." The knowledge that he had brought her sorrow and pain, any sadness, grieved him greatly.

"How can I not?" she asked softly, her rich voice so very low. "You were my light. My life. My love. You were my polestar, my beacon of hope always shining through the darkness. You were my heart. You were the keeper of my soul. Yes, even as I live, a part of you lives on with me. But it is not enough. _You_ yourself...are not there." Tears slid down her cheeks now. Tears of true despair that Aragorn had never seen before. "How can you ask me not to trouble myself so when you are no longer there and never can you return?"

A deep silence fell over the Heir to Isildur. It seemed that for once he was at a loss of words. In his heart, he wished he had words to comfort her, yet, he knew that this blow he himself had dealt to her, and it left a wound that he could not heal. Then slowly, the speechless cloud lifted from him. "Arwen, I left you, and indeed I do wish that there had been another way, yet, there was none. Meleth nin, you must see, I would not have you suffer me slide into old age, falling to but dotage, I would not wish for anyone to see such a thing. And the time was right, for Eldarion was a grown man, and his time had come." It seemed that he echoed the same words he spoke to her before he died, yet there was force and passion behind them, rather that weariness.

"Indeed. His time was come...and it is come. Every day, I see him through the Councils...helping him make decisions for the good of the people. I have been doing so for many years now, Estel. Many long, bitter years...in which I am living...yet, I am not. And I know, beloved, that I cannot endure this shadow living for much longer. I cannot..." She looked away from him.

"Years?" he seemed surprised at this. _"Meleth nin,_ it has been but months, has it not?" The confusion in his voice seemed not only full of truthfulness, but also concern.

"Months?" Her voice was sorrowful; her eyes cast to the ground. "Nay not months. Years, Estel. But whether it be months or years, they all hold the same amount of time to me now."

"Forgive me, _meleth nin,_ for I believed it but months..." Tenderly, he reached out to her, brushing away her tears.

She looked up into his eyes at his touch, and as she gazed into his loving face, she felt longing stir within her heart and soul once more. She leaned into his fingers, her eyes speaking volumes.

"Never would I mean to hurt you in any way, _meleth,"_ he looked longingly into her eyes. He knew that this was but a dream for her, and when she awoke, there was no telling if anything had changed, yet, he had hope that somehow this brought her some comfort. As so many times she had come to him, comforting him and keeping his faith intact that one day his destiny would come true, and he would fulfill it in every way, he now came to her.

"I know this," she murmured. "I know..." Her hands went from his arms to his face now, cupping his cheeks in her palms. Arwen rose slightly from her sitting position to move even closer to him so now their knees touched. _Come to me..._ her thoughts pleaded. _Come to me, beloved mine..._ Her fingers caressed his face as she gazed into his crystalline depths. The sun was rising in them...how she had missed that golden light.

The familiar light in her eyes illuminated his soul like he had not felt in, what he knew now as years, both from her word, but also the feeling that he was overcome by. Without even thinking about it, he leaned forward, cupping the back of her head, drawing her face even nearer to his. "Then you know also," he bent in, kissing her for but a brief moment. "That I have longed with every inch of my heart, to feel your touch and to show you, that I will wait here for you, and I will find you once more when the time comes, _meleth nin,_ I will wait as long as it takes. But you must live on for now, but lo! I am with you in more than your heart, for Eldarion lives on, as do all of our children. Yet for now, all I have to prove this to you is this." Once more, he bent in kissing her, holding her there for what seemed like an eternity.

For Arwen, there were no words that could grace such a blissful wonder. To feel his lips against her own once again was enough to fill her broken heart with boundless joy. Her hands slid from his face to his heart where she could feel it beat in time with her own. "You are my heart," she breathed against his lips as they broke apart for only a brief moment, lingering, before they met again. _My heart cannot beat...and I do not live...without you._

Yet, even in his warm embrace, the feeling of the pulse of his heart in her palm, she felt him slip away once more. The glistening light that had engulfed and illuminated the her world of dreams slowly turned to dusk, then faded further away. The steady drum that had braced her palm slipped into utter nothingness as the world about her dissipated into no more than that sheer darkness in a world of broken shadows. And the moment that had come disappeared all too swiftly, for the glimpse of heaven had not been heaven at all, for it kept him there, dwelling in the halls of Mandos while she must abide on earth, with her dreams of darkness, and more, an empty heart, until they were reunited once more.

_fin_

Completed on:

August 21, 2003 _{Silraen's Birthday!}_

~*~

_When I Look to the Sky_

When it rains it pours and opens doors

And floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry

And in the midst of sailing ships we sink our lips into the ones we love

That have to say goodbye

And as I float along this ocean

I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me

And you make everything alright

And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me

And I can always find my way when you are here

And every word I didn't say that caught up in some busy day

And every dance on the kitchen floor we didn't have before

And every sunset that we'll miss I'll wrap them all up in a kiss

And pick you up in all of this when I sail away

And as I float along this ocean

I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me

And you make everything alright

And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me

And I can always find my way

Whether I am up or down or in or out or just plane overhead

Instead it just feels like it is impossible to fly

But with you I can spread my wings

to see me over everything that life may send me

When I am hoping it won't pass me by

And when I feel like there is no one that will ever know me

there you are to show me

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me

And you make everything alright

And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me

And I can always find my way when you are here

~Train~


End file.
